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Monday, January 24th, 2005
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| Time: | 9:55 pm. |
| Music: | Taking Back Sunday. |
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hey girls i was wondering if you guys had or knew of any good websites where i could find backgrounds? pretty much anything, designs or pictures.. it'd be much help. thank yoouu
I'd surely walk away if I wasn't such a sucker for you.
Once you love someone from the bottom of your heart you can never forget them and it's hard to let them go even if it is only for a few seconds...
Could you pencil me in when you can, though we both know that the worst part about it is I would be free whenever you want me to be.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, November 29th, 2004
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I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night.
But deep in my heart I truly know, you’re the one that I love, and I can’t let you go.
When it comes to love
I may not know the rules
But there's one thing I know
My heart belongs to you, just you
I miss you more each day..
I miss the look in your eyes..
I miss your touch...
I miss your smile...
Mostly I miss you altogether..
I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
I remember thinking I'll go on forever
only knowing I'll see you again
but I know the touch of you is so hard to remember
but like that touch I know no other
-dave matthews band
it's been a long time since the first times. the first time we met to the first time we kissed, to our first fight, our first good-bye, our first tears, to the last "I love you." people say you never realize what you have until you lose it. in a way they're right but I never took you for granted because I knew any day I could wake up and you would be gone. I just hoped so much it wouldn't be for a very long time but now I miss all those things I never really noticed- like how much I miss your hands holding mine and most of all, I miss your smile; no matter what was going wrong, all you had to do was give me that smile of yours and somehow I knew everything was going to be all right. I haven't seen that smile forever. I just keep hoping I'll see it again so I can have that feeling that everything is going to be all right again. I'm not all right. I'm anything but okay right now. I just keep wondering if I'm ever on your mind or if you ever miss my smile too. I wonder if you ever wake up in the middle of the night praying that I'll come back. I miss you so much. there's nothing I can say that would ever make you understand just what you mean to me. I want more than anything to see your smile again knowing it's for me. I need something to hang on to. I need you..
You grab my attention when you walk into view..
It's late at night and I'm still thinking of you.
I can't control the feeling I'm going through.
Wish we could be together but that's up to you.
My life is so empty without you by my side.
My heart belongs to you no matter what I try.
And when i finally get the courage to talk to someone new,
it always falls apart cause .. they just can't compare to you.
"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time."
"Since I can't be with you right now I will have to be content just dreaming about when we will be together again."
"January came
By April you have stayed
June I was in heaven
July was just the same
September rolled around
October wore a frown
By Christmas we were through "
"Life's a prison when you're in love alone."-
"You hug him good-bye like it's nothing...while all you want to do is hold on forever...but you let go, smile and walk away...then cry all the way home because you know it will never be the same...because try as you might you can't make someone love you, sometimes you have to let them be free...and letting go, that is when love hurts the most of all."-
I wish I was there with you, I wish you were here with me, But most of all, I wish I didn’t have to wish for you.
Sometimes...not too often...but sometimes... I get hit with the memory of how much you meant to me just when I thought I was finally okay with forgetting.
They say there is a reason, they say that time will heal, but neither time nor reason can change the way I feel. No one knows the heartache that hides behind my smile; no one knows how many times I've broken down and cried.
I realized I loved you when you walked away. I realized I missed you with each passing day. I realized I needed you when my heart broke in two. But what I realize most is that I don’t have you
“For you to like someone so much you get lost in your love for them.
When another comes along you don’t know what to do, what to say
except go away.”
Your eyes, they glisten like the stars in the sky
I still remember the night we said good-bye
I'll always be yours
You'll always be mine
“I will hide my broken heart beneath a laughing face,
and though you’ll think I never cared, no one else can take your place.”
“Love can tear and rip you apart,
but if you’re very lucky, it’ll put you back together.”
When I look back now, that summer seemed to last forever and if I had a choice, I’d always wanna be there.
It's hard to say I miss you
Since you've been gone
it's not the same
In my mind I know
You're far away
But here in my heart
Nothing has changed
I'm still holdin' you
Like I used to
On a busy street
In a crowded room
Wherever I go
It's just me and you
Together again
There's so many things
I didn't say
And even though
It may be too late
I want you to know
I still love you so
Every car I meet
Looks like your car
Every movie I see
You play the leading part
You're on my mind
Can't leave you behind
Isn't there some way that we can try
To be us again
Even if it takes a while
I'll wait right here until I see that smile
That says we're us again
Without you
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
*Because of you I am even more afraid of relationships because you and I..we were special..we had something..in that short amount of time you taught me so much...then it all ended with you teaching me that no matter how much you care about someone..they'll always let you down so I now know what to expect.*
Forget his name. Forget his face. Forget his kiss and warm embrace. Forget his words that once were true. Remember when he lied to you. Forget the talks that you once shared. Forget the face that he once cared. Forget the times you shared together. Remember now, he's gone forever. Forget you cared the whole night long. Forget him when you hear his song. Forget how close you used to be. Remember now that he is free. Forget the way he used to look. Forget the way he used to talk. Forget the things you planned to do. Forget the thrill when he said, "Hi." Forget the way he made you cry. Forget the way he said your name. Remember now, things aren't the same. Forget the times he made you mad. Remember now, he's happy, not sad. Forget the times you were alone. Forget the long nights on the phone. Forget his gentle, easy way. Forget you saw him yesterday. Forget the times that he cared, too. Remember you'll eventually find someone new. Forget he said, "I'll leave you never." Remember now, he's gone forever.
"In this weird way I know you miss me, not because of that reason, but because you'll never find a girl that can put up with you like I did. You'll never find a girl who'll put up with as much crap and enjoy it. You'll never find someone who cared as much."
*I'm going to miss his smile, I'm going to miss his laugh. I'm going to miss his arms around me so tight. But most of all, I'll miss being able to cry in front of him, and letting him cry back. He was the one person I could be myself to.*
If you keep tryin so hard to be everything you not
You'll miss everything you were meant to be
Don't judge people because
They aren't what you want them to be
Everyone wants happiness
No-one wants pain
But you can't make a rainbow
Without a little rain
Many people will make tears roll down your cheek
But only a few will wipe them away
I miss you. not enough to want you back, just enough for it to hurt
What can I say, we have so many memories... so many things to look back on. I learned so much from you, gained so much. I loved the way you made me laugh, I hated the way you made me cry, but what I hated most was when we said good-bye
It's easy to let go when holding on hurts so bad.
Getting over you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I don't think I could ever do it again
You smile when you feel like crying, you act like you're okay, when you're falling apart inside and you let it go. You move on, because there's nothing else you can do...
Everyday I miss the you that I used to know.. before you let me down, before I let you go
I don't know what hurts more.. missing you, and knowing that I can't be with you.. or knowing that you don't even miss me
If i love you enough to let you go, would you love me enough to come back?
All I want is not to need you now.
As you looked into my eyes and asked why I was about to cry, it was because I knew we had to say goodbye.
You came to me like a dream.. the kind that always leaves just as the best part starts, it ends so abruptly..
I hate you for making me feel so much over nothing
i now understand it was just my ego, because looking back i don't think i really loved him, but i cried when i realized he didn't love me
That look isn't from just any hurt. That is the look of a girl with a broken heart.
I'm sick of always cryin'. I don't wanna be sick of trying, but you've gotta want me too.
No matter how much this hurts .. I wanted you to know, My heart remains with you.-
The sooner you realize things will never be the same again, the sooner you can move on.
i want to give up on you, but i'm afraid no one else loves you like i did, and i love you too much to leave you alone like that
I'm twisted cause one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on.
On the other side I wanna break down and cry
I don't want you to be better off without me.
I hope you think of me
Hope you wonder where I sleep at night
Cause I feel like I'm inside out
You got me upside down
Maybe I was holding on too tight
There is no need to test my heart, with useless space. These roads go on forever. And there will always be a place For you in my heart...
Do you still consider me,
consider me the [girl] you laughed with
or you learned to live without?
Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it. --
"To love someone is to wait for them, but you need to love yourself to by knowing when to walk away."
I know we talked about it, I just can't get around it,
I just want one more night with you,
How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.
I thought we'd get to see forever
But forever's gone away
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
I don't know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where we've been
And what we've been through.
If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it's worth all the wait
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Oh great
here I go again I'm stuck in this rut
and I'm not sure how to begin- should I tell you everything?
I'm feeling out of luck so I won't see you soon
'cause I know it's too soon for you to see me-
if this is the last thing you do just tell me that it's o.k.
for me to have these feelings for you
and that it's normal to want to call you.
Oh I'm dialing the phone and I'm letting it ring for hours
and I'm pretending to hear your voice-
Why does my heart always beat before yours does?
After a while you can make yourself believe in almost anything,
so I'm making myself believe in you.
You know, the worst part about having to fall asleep when you have a broken heart is having to wake up, because right when you start to open your eyes you are about to feel happy until you realize your life is terrible and the pain nearly swallows you whole..*
Have you ever really thought about it? You've got this girl, head over heels in love with you. She'd do anything for you, she'd die for you. But for some reason, you don't want to see that. You know it's there, and you know that you feel the same way. But you refuse to let it be. Maybe you're scared. Maybe you're scared of the thought that this girl who you've known forever - you've seen her happy, you've seen sad -- maybe this girl is perfect for you. And that really scares you, doesn't it?
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 3:26 pm. |
| Mood: |  creative. | | Music: | Yellowcard-Only One. |
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--guy to his friend--it seems like its been forever
girl to her friend~i wonder if he still cares
--guy to his friend--she looks better than b4
girl to her friend~i couldnt stop staring at him
--guy to his friend--i asked her how things were going
girl to her friend~i asked bout his new girlfriend
--guy to his friend--i'd choose her over any girl im with
girl to her friend~he's probally really happy right now
--guy to his friend--i couldnt look at her without starting to cry
girl to her friend~he couldnt even look at me
--guy to his friend--i told her i miss her
girl to her friend~he doesnt mean it
--guy to his friend--i mean it
girl to her friend~he didnt mean it
--guy to his friend--i love her
girl to her friend~he loves his new girlfriend
--guy to his friend--i held her for the last time
girl to her friend~he gave me a friendly hug
--guy to his friend--then i went home and cried
girl to her friend~then i went home and cried
--guy to his friend--i lost her
girl to her friend~i love him
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Subject: | randoms |
| Time: | 3:24 pm. |
| Mood: |  busy. | | Music: | Pass That Dutch-Missy Elliot. |
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..and i cant really explain what i'm going through inside, but i'd turn away the world, just to have you here with me tonight
Im so confused, about love, about life, about you. arent you suppose to be everything. i had so much trust in you. and for all i know ur were faking all along. to just fall out of love ..is impossible. but u claim, you did love me ytou were 'obsessed'.
its alright, baby..i understand ur fear. but u dont, when u finally do.. ill be gone, long gone.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
a little jealousy in a relationship is healthy.
it's always nice to know someone is afraid to lose you.
No matter how hard u try to get over someone, you will still have some sort of feeling for them, remembering the ways things used to be, and how they are now. And you sometimes wish that the new person in their life was still you, and everything was how it used be, erasing all the bad things that happened.
Time is supposed to make things better, but in love it doesn't..
if these feelings werent real dont you think they'd be gone by now ?
i see it more as it doesn't matter what everyone else says or thinks it just matters that we're happy together and nothing seems wrong when we're together
I never thought I would meet someone who would be so hard to forget.
How is it that we fall in love knowing that not all love is forever? We know of heartbreak and pain, but we never think that it will happen to our love, and when it does, we're somehow shocked...like we never saw it comming.
I wonder if anyone else is as tired as I am of faking a smile when listening to other people's love stores.
there's nothing like the deep
breaths after laugh that hard.
nothing in the world like a sore
stomach for the right reasons
if it's not keeping you up at night...what's the point?<3
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Sunday, November 28th, 2004
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your eyes still give me a reason to breathe
and midnight conversations still mean everything to me.
its like once youve been hurt
your scared to get attached again
and you have this fear that
every person you start to fall for
is gonna break your heart
It's always the same in"every"relationship. There's
always one person crying and wishing to get back
together, while the other doesn't even remember
the things they've been through. I hate that I have
to be the one that remembers every little detail
while you can't seem to remember me at all.
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Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
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You listened when I needed to talk. You dried my tears when I cried. You make me happy with just a thought. No words can express how I feel inside. All those times you made me speechless. All the times you made me cry. Using just a few words or a story, The little things in life. The little things like the smiles when I get on & the frowns when I get off. The usual chats at 3. Giving me something to look forward to everyday. Just being able to tell myself that if I can hold on just a little bit longer so I can talk to every thing will be OK. All the times you told me to hold on and not let go, gave me hope again. A hope I didn't have until I met you. You mean more to me than anything. If I lost you then my world would end. You'll never know. And all I can say is thank you with all my heart because if it weren't for you I just wouldn't be the same. I really don't no what I would do with out you.
You don't get to choose you just fall in love, and you get this person who's all wrong and all right at the same time, and you know that you love them so much except that sometimes they just drive you completely insane and no one can explain it, and the reason it's so confusing is because its love, but if love didn't have any challenges then what would be the point?
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What did it feel like, I wondered, to love someone that much? So much that you couldn't even control yourself when they came close, as if you might just break free of whatever was holding you and throw yourself at them with enough force to easily overwhelm you both.
The chances we take, knowing no better, to fall or to stand back and hold ourselves in, protecting our hearts with the tightest of grips.
No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater.
Maybe I would have protected my hears from some things, but would that really have been better? To hold myself apart because I was too scared that something might not be forever?
Holding people away from you, and denying yourself love, that doesn't make you strong. If anything, it makes you weaker. Because you're doing it out of fear.
Letting go and giving into it, that's what makes us what we are. Risks. That's living.
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Monday, November 22nd, 2004
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its like when i dont talk to him or see him, i start to think that im
gonna be alright...that im going to get through this...that i
dont need him. and after i make myself believe that, he calls..and the
feelings and memories rush back into my head and then i fall in love
all over again. yeah, people say" well tell him not to call for a
while", but the fact is, im never going to get over him. hes the only
guy ive ever loved. he'll always have a piece of my heart that will
always belong to him. i will always love him
who knows what will be...but ill make you this guarentee. no way
novemeber will see our goodbye, when it comes to december its obvious
why...no one wants to be alone at christmas time, and come january were
frozen inside, making resolutions a hundred times, february, wont u be
my valentine? and well both be safe till st. patricks day
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Sunday, November 21st, 2004
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I genuinely really love him. He honestly has my heart. It's all his, resting in his hands. He can do whatever he wants with it. He can protect it and shelter it and treat it with care, or he can crush it and tear it apart and shatter it. It's such a frightening realization to come to - to see that you've given so much of yourself, such an integral part of yourself, to someone and now it's theirs to do what they please with it.
And I'm terrified of that. Like one day he can decide he just doesn't want me anymore and that will be it, you know? Tears, heartbreak, sadness, weeks and months of mourning and loss, it could all happen any minute. To know that this could happen at anytime and to keep on loving someone inspite of what you know love could do to you...I don't even know what to call that. It's faith, I guess? Trust? I don't even know if there is a word for that. Love?
And I also realized that I desperately wanted to make him proud of me and wanted him to approve of me and my behavior, moreso than I'd ever felt before.
He's just a stupid boy. That's all. He's no different from any other boy, but he is, at the same time. He is so completely different. And I can't live without him and all the things he does that make me go weak. Like the way we'll be at a stoplight and he'll watch me, and when I turn to catch him, he pretends like he wasn't looking at me. Even though we both know I caught him. Like the way my cold hands always find their way into his big warm ones. Like the way he doesn't care that I can't cook anything other than cereal and laughs at my domestic ... issues. Like the way he gets really quiet when something's bothering him and is hard for him to talk about. Like the way he listens to me like I'm the only person in the world. Like the way he brushes my hair off my face right before he kisses me and the way his hands always end up cupping my face or my neck. Like the way he always rearranges me when we're cuddling together so that both arms are securely wrapped around me. Like the way he squeezes my hand so I know he's still there.
When did this happen? When did he become such a huge part of my world? When did my life become so much brighter now that he's in it? I missed it because it all must have happened so quickly. It feels like I woke up one morning and suddenly I couldn't breathe without knowing he was mine. It's scary too - to feel so strongly. What if he doesn't feel the same way? This is just one giant blind leap of faith.
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Saturday, November 20th, 2004
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Be young, think smart, stay true, and just follow your heart. ~ The Ataris, “Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start”
It’s like lighting candles in the rain sometimes life can be a pain but don’t give up without a fight. ~ The Ataris, “Life Makes No Sense”
Got out of bed today. I'm in love, what can I say? I'm really happy to be somewhere with someone who makes me happy. ~ The Ataris, “How I Spent My Summer Vacation”
I just want you to know I have a major crush on you. ~ The Ataris, “San Dimas High School Football Rules”
“I don’t think I ever told you, but I know you always did your best. And the hard times only made us stronger.” ~ The Ataris, “The Hero Dies in This One”
I guess I’m not prepared to say goodbye, so long, farewell, I won't be seeing you again. ~ The Ataris, “Broken Promise Ring”
They'll never understand what it's like to be a kid today. ~ The Ataris, “Teenage Riot”
I don't wanna love you, but it's something that I love to do. ~ The Ataris, “Anywhere But Here”
I remember waiting for you to call only to find nothing at all. ~ The Ataris, “The Saddest Song”
I’m so sorry … I will make it up to you. ~ The Ataris, “The Saddest Song”
Please don’t forget who you really are because nothing really matters when we’re gone. ~ The Ataris, “All You Can Ever Learn is What You Already Know”
Life is only as good as the memories we make. ~ The Ataris, “So Long Astoria”
We said that we would never fit in, we were really just like them. Does rebellion ever really make a difference? ~ The Ataris, “So Long Astoria”
I guess that I’m wrong for falling in love, but you’re still the one I’m dreaming of. I guess that it’s you I want to hold on to, but you’re holding on to someone else. ~ The Ataris, “Broken Promise Ring”
If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go … and would you miss me when you get there? ~ The Ataris, “Takeoffs and Landings”
All the nights we stayed up talking and listening to 80s songs, quoting lines from all those movies that we love. It still brings a smile to my face. ~ The Ataris, “In This Diary”
Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up, these are the best days of our lives. The only thing that matters is just following your heart … and eventually you’ll finally get it right. ~ The Ataris, “In This Diary”
I really hope you’re doing better, all your friends close by your side … one step closer to recovery. ~ The Ataris, “My Reply”
These arms remain stretched out to you, maybe someday you’ll accept them. Maybe it’s too late to save a young girl’s heart that slowly stopped beating. ~ The Ataris, “My Reply”
You’ll be spending the whole night trying everything you can to get that girl to notice you. ~ The Ataris, “Summer, 79”
Climb out on this rooftop and stare at the city lights below us … the world belongs to us tonight. ~ The Ataris, “Summer, 79”
Sometimes this all feels like a dream. I’m waiting for someone to just wake me up from this life. ~ The Ataris, “The Hero Dies in This One”
As I sit here all alone, I wonder how I’m supposed to carry on when you’re gone. I’ll never be the same without you, I love you more than you will ever know. So maybe now you finally know. Sometimes we’re helpless and alone, but you can’t let it keep you weighted down. You must go on. ~ The Ataris, “The Hero Dies in This One”
Do you ever feel like crying? Do you ever feel like giving up? I raise my hands up towards the sky, I say this prayer for you tonight … because nothing is impossible. ~ The Ataris, “The Hero Dies In This One”
The hardest part isn't finding who we need to be, it's being content with who you are. ~ The Ataris, “The Hero Dies in This One” </3
Now I don’t understand what happened to our love, but babe I’m gonna get you back … gonna show you what I’m made of. ~ The Ataris, “Boys of Summer”
If only I had one wish, I’d want a million trillion lifetimes that I could spend with you … fall in love with you again and again. ~ The Ataris, “Looking Back on Today”
It’s time that I made things right for the first time since the last time. ~ The Ataris, “Eight of Nine”
She’s on her eight of nine. ~ The Ataris, “Eight of Nine”
You’re better off without him, don’t call him, he’s breaking your heart. ~ The Ataris, “Your Boyfriend Sucks”
Appreciate the good times but don’t take the worst for granted … ‘cause you only get so many second chances. ~ The Ataris, “Eight of Nine”
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| Time: | 12:30 pm. |
| Mood: | creative. | | Music: | Hawthorne Heights- Ohio Is For Lovers. |
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Well this is new, I mainly did this so I can join communities and such.
But I'll probably just post quotes in here
MMMmm later!!
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grenadexxjumper's journal
complacent.
tired.
sad.
accomplished.